just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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