thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
