with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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