Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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