Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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