I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
