i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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