is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
