I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
