Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
