so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
