Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
