oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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