Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
