i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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