Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
