i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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