standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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