Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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