it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize