Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had to cum in my sink.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
