i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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