Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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