I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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