he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize