Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
