I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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