Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
