It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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