The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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