My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
