We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
