I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
