I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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