My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize