420 ftw
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just had sex bonerless
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
