so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
