Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
now i know why i became what i already was.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you never un-have a 4some
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
