I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So. Much. Porn.
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