Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I need to align my fucking chakras
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
