Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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