My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The adults are the big ones right?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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