I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
