your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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