We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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