Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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