Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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