somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
