I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
