So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
