i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
