hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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