you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
