He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
