sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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