no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
