well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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