alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
