she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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