Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
jump out the window naked night went bad
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