you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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