These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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