How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
