Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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