Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
