So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
