She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
