but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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