i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
