she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
