I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
