the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
