Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
