Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
