another moral hangover. fuck.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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