Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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