So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
