those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
