You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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