Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
